Perfect Relationship, Perfect Partner
BaZi perspective for understanding relationship matter
or Four Pillar of Destiny is one part of the I Ching studies about Destiny 命. There is a difference between destiny and fate though many people don’t know about it. Destiny is about the action that you take upon certain conditions and opportunities. You decide your own decision, while fate is given and you have no choice about it. Quick example about it. Fate is when the you were born in a rich family and destiny is whether you want to be a lazy kids or strive for the best. It is completely up to you what kind of actions you take. The same rule applies for our life.
This is the first time I’m going to introduce you to Bazi principle as we’ve been delving in the realm of relationship matter for the last couple of articles. In the world of relationship, there are two people involve in it. Your part and the other part. We always feel that it is about us. And when there’re mistakes, automatically we blame the other party for it. Of course it is easier to blame other person.
Let’s stop for a moment there.
Have you ever thought that it might be that we ourselves are problematic ones? I am sorry if I have to be the person who break the news for you. Yes! It is possible and also I will make a keen point about it. Most of the time people that always fall into an unhealthy relationship, have -kind of- unbalance Bazi chart.
What is the main reason this is happening?
Bazi chart contains a set of energy which already ‘installed’ to you by the time you were born. You can’t change it, but only by the time you grow and live your life, certain events come then you receiving ‘updates’. Just like your smartphone.
Some people born with a good set of Bazi chart, some people don’t and a lot of people fall in between. It’s hard to say what is a good Bazi chart, because different people have different values to hold.
A smooth see never made a skilled sailor, Franklin D. Roosevelt
If you have a big dream and also want to chase after it, a little bit of clash in your chart might be a good thing. By having some kind of challenges in your life, you will be the skilled sailor. Someone who faces challenges with a good plan and a concrete strategy. If you prefer having just a so-so life, not so exciting, then perhaps a ‘good’ chart will be better in your opinion. Good and bad are a relative term. Therefore it’s up to you, what kind of life you want to have and what is your personal goal.
Looking for a perfect relationship and perfect partner.
Question: are you perfect? Then why are you looking for the perfect thing? In Bazi, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship and perfect partner. Even your so called soulmate is not only one. Attraction for the opposite sex is a type of energy, the person that you’re attracted to is a type of energy and your feeling towards another is also a type of energy.
By understanding the set of energy that you have within you, chances are you also will understand the type of partner and what kind of relationship that you will have. Meet the expectations with reality. When you don’t know what you want and what to expect, then you will be let down by the reality.
My ideal partner…
When two person falls into relationship, their unconsciously found something that they want and need in their partner. The thing they want here is ‘shape’ of energy. If you are lucky enough, you might even be able to find a person that fit into places in your Bazi chart and yours to him/her.
I am lucky enough to have the opportunity meeting this couple years back and the relationship that they have is one of the kind. Don’t think about the K-drama plot twist or anything crazy, they are there for each other. I also don’t say anything about quarreling. They surely have it one of those days but something stronger definitely bind them up together.
Love yourself first then everything will fall into line, Lucille Ball
For those of you who are currently looking for a relationship, my two cents, love yourself first. Easily spoken then done, but completely true. If you want to be in a happy relationship, you should be happy first and then share your happiness to other. That’s why people want to be in a relationship with you. Happiness is not something artificial from outside matter. It’s coming from the inside out. Therefore you should foster your own happiness first, subsequently the partner will come and the relationship will happen.
Landing your dream relationship starts with you. Improve and assess yourself whether you have the proper attitude and mindset to start a relationship first. If you are a an exciting and attractive person, people will definitely flock around and interested in you. Or maybe what happen is otherwise. You could have an ego and attitude problem, therefore people are not interested to know you more. There could be a million reasons of why a relationship happens, one thing for sure, it happens because of you.